I fought my entire being trying to stop myself from writing anything about today, but I failed. I just couldn’t stop me, because there are questions in my head seeking for answers
So someone should answer me…

Did we lose?
Did we just waste our time?
Did everything we fought for waste?
Exactly one year today young Nigerians were murdered in cold blood at the Lekki toll gate by the same people they voted in to make decisions for the betterment of their lives… one year later, nothing has been done. Not a single person has been brought to book. Not a single explanation has been given, not a single arrest has been made.
So I ask again… Did we lose?

I fully participated in every single activity of this protest.
From Abia state I held the Megaphone in Anambra and spoke for young people, asking that our lives should matter and Anambra youths stood solidly behind me echoing in agreement to the things I said because at that point, it wasn’t about who was talking or where he was from.
At that point it was for us… for our lives.

I remember how we were so hopeful and feeling like Nigeria might just turn to an independent country where the youths could determine what would happen. And that we will so fix this country and maybe it won’t be so hard to get into America anymore.

I remember how we worked together, how we fought together against everything the government were throwing at us, how we cleaned and swept protest ground after each day. How we camped together outside, shared food at protest grounds , made new and real friends, gave food to policemen stationed on different parts of the street just doing their job as it should be, I remember how we agreed to be peaceful and we all did that.

I can vividly remember how I had a panic attack while I was sitting in my living room alone and shuttling from DJ switch’s instagram live to random WhatsApp status. I remember using the last energy I could muster to post on my WhatsApp that I was having a panic attack then lying almost lifeless on the floor in my palour hoping that help comes, before Sonye Okoye called my phone and kept telling what to do, to sustain my breath before Emerald showed up.

I remember my loved ones begging me not to show up at the candle light memorial for our falling Hero’s because the DJ I contacted to bring sound had been threatened so they considered it risky for me.

I remember sitting infront of my TV watching Arise TV as they reported the actual and real time facts of the protest as against the manipulated News that other stations were broadcasting.

I remember hoping that soon international bodies will step in and help us get justice on this matter till I was forced to realize that we were on our own and that nobody really cared about us.

And finally I remember watching the President address the nation and with a broken spirit I said to myself “This is the end, we have lost”.
So, Was I right?
Did we really lose?
Did we just waste our time?
Did everything we fought for, waste?
Were our parents right, that we were wasting our time ?



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